Your life is not a movie. You cannot just sit down, do nothing and wait for your Prince Charming to take you out of your castle of misery. Navigating in a new relationship is hard. Dating people you don’t know is hard as well. But remember that you’re not stuck in the same relationship woes forever. These new pieces of relationship advice from 2022 will turn you into a new person relationship-wise this 2023.
Focus On What You Have Today
Don’t dwell too much on the past. After we experience heartbreak, it’s only natural to bring our fears and insecurities into future relationships as a way to prevent getting hurt again. However, while this may protect us from further pain, it can also stop us from being truly happy in a new relationship. For example, if a past partner was unfaithful, instead of carrying that mistrust into your new relationship and projecting those qualities onto your new partner – remember that they are different people altogether. If they’re trustworthy enough to date, then you should trust them too.
Corollary to this, stop talking about your ex and your past failed relationship too much. It’s time to break the habit of bring up your ex every chance you get with your new partner. Yes, you’ll need to have a chat about past relationships at some point down the line, but other than that, is it really necessary? Constantly talking about an ex makes your present partner feel like they’re being measured against somebody else and ultimately destroys any chance of enjoying the current relationship for what it is.
Focus On Falling In Love With The Person, Not With The Idea of Romance
When we want a relationship too badly, we might not even realize that we’re more interested in the idea of being in a relationship than the person we’re actually dating. If you focus only on finding your perfect partner, you might start to push other people into roles they don’t want or fit into. When you fall in love with the idea of being in a relationship instead of an actual person, you technique yourself into overlooking any flaws or red flags. If your mind has already convinced itself that this HAS to work out, take a step back and re-evaluate things. Would you still want to spend time with this person if they weren’t “The One?” If the answer is yes, then it’s likely that you’re actually attracted TO THEM as a person–not just the idea of them fulfills some sort of personal requirement.
Discuss What You Are Comfortable With (When It Comes To Intimacy)
You cannot forego the idea of talking about sex. It’s part of a relationship. It might be a little awkward conversation for you but it’s where and how you set healthy boundaries – by talking about your likes and dislikes. Talk about your preferences, boundaries, and interests while hearing them out without immediately judging or getting frustrated. This is a two-way conversation! And don’t forget that there’s no such thing as the “right time” to get intimate–every couple is different. One partner can’t be ready for sex just because the other is.
Important Conversation Is Better Communicated In Person
Not through texts, definitely. Texting is a great way to stay in touch with your partner and make them laugh, but it’s not the best platform for deep conversations.If you are in a disagreement or want to discuss your feelings for each other, it is always better done in person. This way there is less opportunity for miscommunication and you can avoid any awkwardness. If you feel like an argument is coming on and you can’t talk over the phone, let your partner know that you’ll discuss it when you’re both able to have a conversation about it.
Spend Alone Time, Too
It’s easy to get caught up in the initial excitement of a new relationship and let things that were important to you before take a backseat. You might start seeing your friends less or spending more time with your partner at the expense of enjoying your hobbies. It’s understandable that you would want to spend all of your time with your significant other when things are going well. However, giving up your independence and social life could lead to issues further down the road. Try not to lose sight of who you are and what’s important to you. Otherwise, you run the risk of the relationship becoming codependent instead of healthy and supportive.
Final Thoughts
Remember that relationships are not always 100% sunshines and butterflies. There are stormy weathers too but as cliche as it sounds, these storms will water and flourish your relationship even more, maybe not the current relationship you have but the future connections you will have soon if this one didn’t work out. What’s important is you still have your sanity intact because self-love is still the best form of love you will have in this lifetime. Start happy and with a healthy mindset with these pieces of relationship advice this 2023.